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Did it hurt when you fell off the bandwagon?

13 Nov
By: Alia
 

I’d like to break our silence by bitching about something– I know it’s a big change of pace for me because I’m usually so solemn and demure.

Bandwagon fans.

“THIS SHOULD DO UNTIL PLAYOFFS WHEN I HAVE TO CHOOSE MY FAVORITE TEAM AGAIN.”

Exponentially more irritating than typical super fans. These people adopt a team that’s doing well for the sake of talking shit. And I get it because I like talking shit, too, which is why being a Buckeye fan really works in my favor. But I am consistently a Buckeye fan, cradle to grave, even when they have a losing season and Michigan still struggles to beat them. Even when I have to endure the dumbest comments of all like “winningest program in history dude, winningest program! hail!” Yeah, and America used to be the best country, but we’re struggling with our identity now because things change and unless you can resurrect the 1947 football team, shaddap.

But, I’m getting away from myself. Because even Michigan fans have to suffer the abuse they get when they lose.

Anyway, when Ohio State loses a game, it ruins my entire day and I pout and refuse to go out that night, but I don’t just become an Alabama fan…even though they lost last weekend :D Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll still get a ticket to the national championship handed to them on a silver platter.

Or how about the people who were born and raised in, let’s say Toledo, Ohio. You’re going to find that generally we like Detroit or Cleveland professional teams and Ohio State (or Michigan, I guess) football. I’m not saying that holds true for every person because there are people whose parents went to some college that they have a loyalty to and that’s fine. Or some people whose grandpa played football for some school and that’s fine. But have some rhyme or reason for why you love a team and love them unconditionally.

Here’s a fun sports fan medley: fan of the Dallas Cowboys, Michigan football, Duke basketball, the Yankees, and the Lakers. This freak is driving the bandwagon. So you have a loyalty to winning?

LOL, I mean, besides when the NYY are sWEPT by the Tigers, of course. And do you see what I just did right there? The Tigers just got swept in the World Series and I’m still obnoxiously talking shit in support of them. But we were the 2012 AL Champs so relax.

Most often, children can fall victim to this unfortunate trend. For instance, when I was little, who did I love? Michael Jordan. Why? 1) Because he saved the Looney Toons from imminent alien slavery, 2) because his Airness inspired an entire line of shoes (I love shoes), and 3) because he was the world’s greatest basketball player so it was unAmerican not to. So I would wear this hideous Chicago Bulls getup and hightop chucks like it was going out of style, which was impossible because that shit was never in style to begin with. But I feel absolutely no loyalty to the Bulls now. I couldn’t even tell you how their season went last year or how they’re projected to do this year. Just like I’d rather read about macro-economics than watch soccer even though I would lick sweat off of Cristiano Ronaldo’s post-game, pre-showered body. These just aren’t very good reasons to passionately follow a team.

Bandwagon fans are the ones who like to cheat at board games, yelled “no tap backs” when they played tag, and threw your controller on the ground when you beat them at super mario.

And just because there is no good way to wrap this up and I mentioned video games, I’m going to throw this video in for good measure.

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We <3 Baseball Season

17 Jun

The Birth of a New Rival

22 Mar

Brady cHoke is one clever guy. I’m always at the edge of my seat wondering what he’ll come up with next. And for those of you who don’t know me that well, I am being 113% entirely sarcastic.

Calling Ohio State “Ohio” is sort of like calling me Alia instead of Miss Kadri, which I’m completely fine with, by the way. But calling Michigan “that team up north” is like calling someone “what’s-your-face?” Now which one is more degrading?

But back to my first thought…seriously, what will he come up with next? He certainly cannot call us Ohio anymore, seeing as how Michigan’s basketball team destroyed the joke in an ironic loss to the Bobcats last week. He could call us O-H…but he’d probably be greeted with more enthusiastic “I-O” responses before he can get through the rest of his sentence. He could refer to us as “deeez nuts” but I think we’d enjoy that a little too much.

Honestly, with the recent struggles Michigan has had against MAC schools in the last couple of years, I’m surprised he even thought “reducing” us to a MAC school would work out in his favor. If anything, MAC schools bring forth a challenge just as tough as the next school. Ask their hockey team. And football team. And basketball team.

I’m not trying to insinuate that Michigan athletics suck (you can form your own opinions), I’m just truly curious as to what cute pet name he’ll generate for us now.

Any suggestions?

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March Sadness

6 Mar
By: Alia

Welllll well, welcome back. I know you’ve all been impatiently waiting for the next post and with the Big March Event commencing soon (and I’m not talking about St. Patties Day, ya big lush), what better time to write?

I’ve been so preoccupied with work (yeaaah babyyy, mama got a job) that I’ve barely had any free time to watch the championship games…

Nope. Not those games. No OFFENSE ladies :)

I’m talking about the ones that matter. Or in the B1G’s case, didn’t matter, because Ohio State had to share their title with the two ugly stepsisters.

But, now that we can put one hell of a disappointing season behind us, it is time to move onto greener pastures, where Sullinger won’t foul out of every game and Buford will hit more then 25% of his shots. It is time for MARCH MADNESS. Or as I like to call it, March Sadness, because my Buckeyes love to disappoint me…

My non-sport analysis of March Madness is that all the die-hard basketball fans who participate in the office pools every year WITHOUT FAIL, always lose to the non-sports fan who picks the winner based on which team’s color they like more. Nevertheless, here is a link to the NCAA Bracket Challenge. Have a ball.

Personally, I think the best part about the tournament is the upsets. You just don’t. See. It. Coming. It summons the “I had them going all the way!” chant of dashed hopes and opens up the door for your secretary, who picked the team with the orange shirts because it’s the color of her favorite Coach purse, to take it all. Not cool, but so funny.

Anyway, get your brackets ready and prepare for Selection Sunday. Who is your Final Four selection? Who’s making it to The Big Dance?? Hopefully some of you will be brave enough to think outside of the #1 and #2 teams.

Kentucky has been on a remarkable winning streak, but just how long can it last? If you ask the Red Wings, they’d say no more than 23 games in a row…and after beating Florida on Sunday for the 22nd W in a row, their wins could be numbered. I don’t ever bank on the #1 team taking it though, do you?

@DetroitRedWings #Winning

23 Feb
By: Alia

Usually the only thing I like on ice is a nice, stiff drink (two limes, please). Unless the Ice Capades are in town… But even I have to appreciate the perfection of what is going on up I-75 in Detroit.

When I look to That Team Up North with envy, it’s not the team that most would imagine (never!), rather, it is the sister-franchise of my beloved Detroit Tigers, the Red Wings. I was dancing in the aisles last September when the Tigs made the playoffs for only the second time in my life, but the Wings are what every Tiger fan aspires our team to be – playoff-contestants almost every year I’ve been alive; 21 straight seasons – the longest streak in professional sports.

How do you top that?

In 2012, the Wings made their mark in history in a game that dates back to 1897. Last season, Detroit lost over a third of its home games, and when the Calgary Flames beat them on November 3rd last year, they had already lost at Joe Louis Arena for the second time in 3 games.

And then it was over.

Three and half months and 23 games later and they have yet to lose again.

20 wins in a row at home matched two other NHL teams for the all-time record for one season.

22 wins in a row at home tied the 1929-30 Boston Bruins for the all-time NHL record.

And when Detroit defeated the San Jose Sharks 3 to 2 for their 23rd home game in a row, they accomplished a feat no other team can claim in the history of hockey.

True to fashion, the previous record-holders started making their comparisons, justifying the situation. The Great Depression-Era Bruins won 22 in regulation, while the Great Recession-Era Wings had the benefit of overtime and four shootouts in their 23, instead of five ties (the former scoring method).

Boston’s was in the “Original 6” period when the league’s six teams stretched from Bean Town to Chicago and the longest road trip was 1,000 miles by train. Detroit, in the Western Conference, flies as far as 3,000 miles west and back. The old-time Bruins took on the best players in Canada and the Eastern US; the Wings take on the greatest players from around the world.

The record also came with a Toledo-area Cinderella Story.

Seventeen games into the winning streak, starting goalie and NHL all-star Jimmy Howard, broke his finger and went on the disabled list. The Red Wings then called up Joey MacDonald from Grand Rapids as backup to their new goalie, Ty Conklin. MacDonald is a former goaltender for the late, great Toledo Storm and one of only a handful of alumni to make it to the Big Leagues.

In Conklin’s first game, he gave up a bunch of goals super early and Coach Babcock pulled him and replaced him with MacDonald, who was solid the rest of the way earning him the starting position next game. MacDonald got the win, Babcock gave him another shot and MacDonald produced another win…

As any good coach would do, Babcock stuck with MacDonald straight through the Red Wings six game home stand that concluded with the 3 to 2 victory over San Jose and Record Win #23. MacDonald’s ultimate reward occurred the next day when Howard came off the disabled list and Detroit released Conklin, keeping MacDonald as the backup for the remainder of the season.

Recognize: we can’t lose at home, and with 4-out-of-7 at our place each series, the math looks good for Detroit to hoist Lord Stanley for the fifth time in 15 years. Anyway, the Wings currently have the best record in the NHL. If they lead the league in points during the regular season, they get home ice throughout the playoffs.

THIS IS SPARTAAAAAA!

I wish I still had my Red Wings Starter jacket…

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Brady Quinn: The Crying Irish

21 Feb
By: Alia

Apparently Brady Quinn is not a Tebow fan. Read the kind words he had to say about his teammate…

1. I guess we won’t see him Tebowing anytime soon. “I’ll continue to lead, not necessarily by trying to get in front of the camera and praying, but by praying with my teammates, you know?”

 

2. On being demoted  from second-string when Tebow suddenly replaced Orton: “I felt like the fans had a lot to do with that. Just ’cause they were chanting his name. There was a big calling for him. No, I didn’t have any billboards. That would have been nice.”

 

3. And what does he attribute his team’s 2011 success to? ”We’ve had a lot of, I guess, luck to put it simply.” Well, we’ll give you the credit for that. After all, your college mascot was a leprechaun. Should be worth something…

 

Don’t take it too hard Brady– God is a busy girl, she only has time for one boyfriend. And while I can’t help you improve your passing game, I’m available if you need a shoulder to cry on. Call me :)

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Valentine’s Day – An Alternative View

13 Feb
By: Alia

A fellow blogger asked me to be a guest author on his blog Joe Montana’s Right Arm to offer my opinion on Valentine’s Day. We took a break from talking about sports to talk about one of the most popular and despised holidays in America. Take a second to click on the link and read about the five golden rules guys should follow for V-day. Thanks <3

You can check out my article on his blog here —> Valentine’s Day – An Alternative View

Or read on (but if you like sports, you should check out his stuff!):

Rule #1: Ignore Your Animal Instincts

Allow me to preface this first rule with a quick story. Dogs are very caring creatures and they’re so cute and cuddly (just like boys!), but the way they show their affection is so not ideal. Dogs run out, kill some disgusting rodent animal, and then present it to their masters as a gift of love. This is similar to a guy giving a girl flowers as a symbol of his love for her. No joke.

Don’t give flowers as a gift. The only thing to die quicker than a bouquet of flowers is my relationship with a man who buys them as a gift. It’s unoriginal, thoughtless, and quite frankly, they smell like crap.

Rule #2: Don’t Try Too Hard

You don’t have to think too hard about what gift to buy her. Believe it or not, clearing a whole night of “boyfriend girlfriend” time can often be better than anything you buy at a store. Yeah, crazy to think we like you more than presents, right?

When it comes to a perfect Valentine’s date, it’s not rocket science. It’s all about the chemistry. Plan something that will give us a reason to shave our legs and dress up fancy. Contrary to popular belief, lingerie isn’t just for men. We like to wear it too (preferably under a little black dress) because we like to look sexy and feel desirable.

Dinner will do just fine as long as you splurge and take her somewhere nice. But make sure you save dessert for when you get home. You never know where else that chocolate syrup might end up…

Rule #3: Chocolates = No.

Unless it’s the aforementioned chocolate syrup, f-o-r-g-e-t it. We didn’t spend three hours at the gym the day before so we could squeeze our asses into the aforementioned little black dress and lingerie to have it all undone by some chocolate covered cherry.

 

Rule #4: Don’t Cop Out

Asking a girl to “be your girlfriend” on Valentine’s Day is like having your birthday on the same day as Christmas. Spread the celebrations out. Your anniversary should be for a boring day when nothing else is happening to give you one more excuse every year to go out and celebrate. This is one of those times when 2-for-1 is not a good deal.

Rule #5: Whisper The 3 Magic Words

The element of surprise is overrated. Don’t try to guess our size or what we like if you really feel the need to get us a gift for Valentine’s Day. It would be WAY better to escort us to the mall, take us to the store, whisper those three magic words “anything you want,” and let us loose.

 

 

 

The bottom line is, there is no hard and fast rule for Valentine’s Day. The best thing you can do is to pay attention to the girl in your life, know her wants and needs better than some Hallmark holiday tells you, and deliver them with love.

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Super Blow Commercials

6 Feb
By: Alia

For once, the actual game was more entertaining than the commercials. Did they even try to be funny this year?

The best thing I watched all night was Ahmad Bradshaw’s game winning touchdown.

Of course, if you’re a Patriots fan, you probably didn’t like that at all because it looked like Bradshaw was literally taking a dump on them. That’s the kind of play you’d imagine you would see in the Puppy Bowl and no one would be surprised.

Anyway, so back to the real issue at hand…the commercials last night were lame. But here were my top three.

3.

2.

1.

Haha, I love the e*trade commercials.

Alright, maybe I missed some because after so many terrible commercials, I actually started treating commercial breaks as commercial breaks.

Which one was your fav?

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A Very Super Sunday

4 Feb
By. Alia

For some people, tomorrow might be one of the most important days of the year.

Maybe you scored free tickets to Sunday’s Super Bowl.

But then you run the risk of being this creep ↓

Maybe you’re just really into the commercials.

One of my personal favs…

Maybe you’re canine crazy and prefer to watch the Puppy Bowl.

I mean, I wouldn’t blame you, because they’re cute…but I’d judge you a little. I’m judging myself for even knowing about it.

Or maybe you’re like Steph and you’ll be watching the other football.

Umm…yeah, that’s pretty tempting.

Or perhaps you’re actually interested in watching the Super Bowl XLVI. I, myself, am not a huge fan of either team, but since this isn’t a “Michigan Bowl” or a “Harblow Brothers’ Bowl,” I can stand to watch it.

Maybe one of the most interesting things about this game (for non Giant or Pats fans) is that little bro Eli finally has the opportunity to step out of the shadow that big brother Peyton’s forehead has been casting on him since childhood.

Tomorrow, the Giants will fight for their fourth Super Bowl victory, which will put Eli at two shining championship rings– surpassing his brother in the Manning Family Football Dynasty.

Cooper Manning

Nope, not that one.

I’m talking about the brother who made it possible for the Super Bowl to be held in Indianapolis this year, because if it weren’t for him, Lucas Oil Stadium wouldn’t even exist.

The last Manning Colts fans will be rooting for is little E, who is vying for the “King” title in the house that an idly-standing-by-spectator-of-the-game Peyton built.

The great Alanis Morissette once asked “isn’t ironic?”

Yes, Alanis, it certainly is.

Unfortunately, the Colts will release Peyton, who’s been cleared by his doctors to move forward with his NFL career, where he will no doubt be picked up by another team so they can draft Andrew Luck in the first round and spare themselves the $28 milli they would’ve owed their super star QB. And while he’s settling in with a new team and preparing to take them to the next Super Bowl, Eli will be cleaning his bling.

It’s gonna get real awkward at family reunions…

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RIP JoePa 1926 – 2012

22 Jan
By: Alia

It’s a sad day for the College Football World upon learning about the death of former Penn State head coach Joe Paterno.

I know many disagree, but I’ve always maintained JoePa’s innocence in the sex abuse scandal that shook Penn State late last year. I think it’s a shame the way his legacy was tarnished and it is truly sickening to see some of the comments people have made regarding his death. I believe that as the story unfolds, he will be cleared of any wrongdoing, and I regret that he won’t be around to witness his vindication.

No one can deny all the greatness he brought to his university and college football. More than just a football legend, JoePa was a great philanthropist who made a significant impact on many lives and should be remembered for his triumphs rather than his career-ending tragedy.

Many people know him as more than just a coach, but also a mentor and father-figure. He was respected by many and will be missed, but never forgotten.

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