I’d like to break our silence by bitching about something– I know it’s a big change of pace for me because I’m usually so solemn and demure.
Exponentially more irritating than typical super fans. These people adopt a team that’s doing well for the sake of talking shit. And I get it because I like talking shit, too, which is why being a Buckeye fan really works in my favor. But I am consistently a Buckeye fan, cradle to grave, even when they have a losing season and
Michigan still struggles to beat them. Even when I have to endure the dumbest comments of all like “winningest program in history dude, winningest program! hail!” Yeah, and America used to be the best country, but we’re struggling with our identity now because things change and unless you can resurrect the 1947 football team, shaddap.
But, I’m getting away from myself. Because even
Michigan fans have to suffer the abuse they get when they lose.
Anyway, when Ohio State loses a game, it ruins my entire day and I pout and refuse to go out that night, but I don’t just become an Alabama fan…even though they lost last weekend Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll still get a ticket to the national championship handed to them on a silver platter.
Or how about the people who were born and raised in, let’s say Toledo, Ohio. You’re going to find that generally we like Detroit or Cleveland professional teams and Ohio State (or
Michigan, I guess) football. I’m not saying that holds true for every person because there are people whose parents went to some college that they have a loyalty to and that’s fine. Or some people whose grandpa played football for some school and that’s fine. But have some rhyme or reason for why you love a team and love them unconditionally.
Here’s a fun sports fan medley: fan of the Dallas Cowboys,
Michigan football, Duke basketball, the Yankees, and the Lakers. This freak is driving the bandwagon. So you have a loyalty to winning?
LOL, I mean, besides when the NYY are sWEPT by the Tigers, of course. And do you see what I just did right there? The Tigers just got swept in the World Series and I’m still obnoxiously talking shit in support of them. But we were the 2012 AL Champs so relax.
Most often, children can fall victim to this unfortunate trend. For instance, when I was little, who did I love? Michael Jordan. Why? 1) Because he saved the Looney Toons from imminent alien slavery, 2) because his Airness inspired an entire line of shoes (I love shoes), and 3) because he was the world’s greatest basketball player so it was unAmerican not to. So I would wear this hideous Chicago Bulls getup and hightop chucks like it was going out of style, which was impossible because that shit was never in style to begin with. But I feel absolutely no loyalty to the Bulls now. I couldn’t even tell you how their season went last year or how they’re projected to do this year. Just like I’d rather read about macro-economics than watch soccer even though I would lick sweat off of Cristiano Ronaldo’s post-game, pre-showered body. These just aren’t very good reasons to passionately follow a team.
Bandwagon fans are the ones who like to cheat at board games, yelled “no tap backs” when they played tag, and threw your controller on the ground when you beat them at super mario.
And just because there is no good way to wrap this up and I mentioned video games, I’m going to throw this video in for good measure.